Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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