You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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