Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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