Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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