oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize