I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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