How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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