apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My dick has a subreddit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize