Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize