Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize