you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize