I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
This is the high leading the old right now
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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