dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize