it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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