sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize