If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
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He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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