I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize