So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
People in love make me want to vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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