you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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