I feel great
I just peed on a car
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
where are my eyebrows?
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