And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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