At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize