You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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