Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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