It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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