A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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