I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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