the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize