Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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