So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
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Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
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Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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