I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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