I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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