Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize