i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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