That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my vag is so smooth its legendary
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize