He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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