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  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:14pm

    how do you lock your keys in a car? please explain. i need my keys to lock my car.

    • Submitted by SunnyGreenEyes on Jun 4, 12 at 7:49pm

      If you have an automatic car and hit the lock button and say leave your keys in the ignition or on the seat. Not that hard to do.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 3:48pm

    Apparently someone needed some plan C with that plan B.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 7:39pm

    ahahhahahah, this is the first one to actually make me laugh out loud. nicely done.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:09pm

    I don't even care if this is fake, it's hysterical!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 7:23pm

    best ever! who cares if it's fake? it's uber clever if it is and hilarious either way

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 18, 09 at 5:59pm

    7:23, agreed. I was there the other day. What a shithole.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:13pm

    I like how people try to decipher whether texts are real or fake...either way we get a good laugh out of them.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 1:42am

    ohhh omg so good! hahah

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 2:35pm

    1:14 does have a point. Except, you just can't lock yourself out while using the drivers door. As long as that door is shut already, you can totally lock your keys in your car. Fake or not, whoever came up with this is genius, I would never think to say anything like that. lmao.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 7:36pm

    best.text.evurrrrrrrr

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 4:48pm

    This is the most amazing thing I've ever heard. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 15, 09 at 12:56am

    reminds me of the time i used a wire hanger to get my pills out from behind the dresser where they had fallen. i knew where the hanger was going if i didn't get the pills out ;-)

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:59pm

    this was on college humor article:1776092

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 18, 09 at 3:48am

    By far the best text

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 7, 09 at 8:33pm

    This made my day... Thank you

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 3:16pm

    1;21...shove your bible where the sun dont shine, preacher

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 11:21pm

    I love you

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 8:46pm

    BEST TFLN EVER.... omg.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:21pm

    1.what you shouldve done was had those legs closed just like ur locked doors, LMAO!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 12:52pm

    lmao. thats one of the best texts ive read so far!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 6:00pm

    Oh. My. God. ROTFL!!!!!!!!! This is definitely the best one on here that I've ever seen.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 28, 10 at 7:53pm

    2:19 seriously? People use clothes hangers for back alley abortions sometimes. Dumbass bitchfucker...

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 12:45pm

    this sounds fake...but at the same time i could totally believe this happening haha

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 9:53am

    Fuck ya!! Thank u denver

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 16, 09 at 7:09pm

    it was on Overheard Everywhere... like a week ago or something

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 8:18pm

    "HangER, not hangar." Just kidding, haha. This text is hilarious.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 6:23pm

    think its hilarious but i do think its fake. still funny as shit though.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 4, 09 at 12:47am

    8:22 is right. abortion isn't funny. for example, it'd be wildly innappropriate and unfunny to say: What's worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree, a dead baby nailed to 5 trees

    • Submitted by jpolizzi on Aug 22, 11 at 1:06pm

      Lmfao. That is hiliarous

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 26, 09 at 1:09pm

    This is the best ever lmao!!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 15, 09 at 3:37pm

    very good! i got a good laugh from this one! prob one of the best texts so far.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 12:54pm

    This is the best one I've read on here, ever.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 14, 10 at 2:19am

    I dont get it?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:20pm

    1:14pm You can't be that retarded. Car doors lock from inside the car too dipshit.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 26, 09 at 9:54am

    HHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAAH

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 2:48pm

    This was probably another retarded grand junction chick asking a SMART Denver person how to fix her life's fuck ups.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 8:52pm

    8:22 this text has nothing to do with human life. Besides, there's nothing wrong with abortions. I was aborted and look at me, I turned out fine

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 22, 10 at 8:45pm

    So fucking funny!!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 1:12am

    hehe that was so funny

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:33pm

    I wonder which PP it was. Go Colorado!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 11:17pm

    Real...fake..who cares...it's hilarious!!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 3:44pm

    i love how people say its impossible to lock your keys in your car. i drive a car without automatic locks meaning i have to lock the doors before i get out. and if you set your keys down to grab something else... well..., there you have it.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:17pm

    @ 1:14PM: 1) Open door. 2) Place keys on seat. 3) Press "lock" button on inside of car door. 4) Shut door. 5) Profit.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 19, 09 at 5:57pm

    Hahahahah that's hilarious

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:34pm

    who cares if its fake...ITS FUNNY

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:33pm

    lol...omg this made me laugh so much!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 6, 09 at 4:56pm

    Has anyone noticed that a lot of texts from here also end up on Bash and vice versa??

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 4, 09 at 3:51pm

    LMAO! best text ever

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 3:58pm

    ask for one of those fetus' in a jar, so u can smash the window

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 15, 09 at 5:02am

    if plan b fails, proceed to plan d & c.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:54pm

    haha awesome. of course you can lock your keys in your car. Once I actually locked a person inside my car - I have a landrover, they have a very weird locking system...

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 2, 09 at 3:36pm

    Pure awesome. Go Colorado!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 3:26pm

    Like 1:59 said... it was in a college humor article before... still funny though

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 12:54pm

    ha ha ha ha ha omg this is great

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 15, 09 at 1:17pm

    real, or fake.. this is amazing!! best one, by far!! and @ 11:40, its a damn funny joke.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 7:23pm

    hahahaha 2:48 grand junction sucksss

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:28pm

    of all the places to need a hanger.

  • Submitted by LOVELIFEE on Jun 5, 10 at 6:04pm

    OMG I ACCIDENTLY VOTED IT THUMBS DOWN SHIIIIIT

  • Submitted by Archetype00 on Jun 13, 11 at 4:13am

    Ah god a lot of you are prudes, it's a fucking joke. Abortion CAN be funny, and here it is.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 31, 09 at 2:19am

    It's so funny, but it also makes my beaver slam shut.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 11:40pm

    abortions are a terrible atrocity. this is not a laughing matter. you all should be ashamed

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 8:07pm

    1:14 - Some people don't have brand new cars from this decade like you do. Older cars, it is very easy to lock your keys into your car...

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 2:32pm

    how does dunkin donuts make you fat?!?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:57pm

    This makes me want to go to PP and lock my keys in my car just so I can legitimately send this message to my friends!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 12:42pm

    so wrong. so wrong it's right.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 2:21am

    i acually teared from this one haahahaa ;)

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:21pm

    i worked at pp and someone came in once for this purpose (legitimately, like she didn't realize the implications). go to any other business in the area if this happens.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 2:11pm

    1:21 i've parked in front of dunkin donuts to go to a head shop, does that make me fat? how does parking in front of PP make you a slut???

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 25, 10 at 7:32pm

    Hahaha

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 29, 09 at 9:11pm

    12:47 and 8:22 fuck off its not your child

  • Submitted by tafthighsucks on Nov 30, 10 at 10:51am

    This actually happened to my friend... Is this Rez?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 11, 09 at 2:15pm

    Ha ha, fucking hilarious.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:00pm

    already been done, guys, keep reading.

  • Submitted by bob_50 on Mar 25, 10 at 5:26pm

    hilarious

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 4, 10 at 9:30pm

    BEST TEXT EVER!!! I laughed really hard!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 11, 09 at 5:52am

    what do you get when you stick a knife up a dead babies ass? i dont know about you, but i get an erection

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 09 at 4:19am

    Lmfao they would have had a heartattack

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 7, 10 at 2:20pm

    Omg this is hands down the funniest thing ever haahahhaha

  • Submitted by TheOneGuy on Oct 26, 10 at 2:26pm

    Why the hell is Everyone anonymous?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 19, 09 at 10:19am

    Hahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa

  • Submitted by ashleyslover on Jun 30, 10 at 10:37am

    wow this is the best one but the is an akward situatiom

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 15, 09 at 2:12pm

    LMAO BEST TEXT EVER! 11:40, pull your head out of your ass and LAUGH. It's funny!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 10:22pm

    I'm sure it was on College humor but this is an ooooold joke. pre-interwebz even!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 13, 09 at 1:14pm

    Lol this one MADE me laugh

  • Submitted by hahathatsfunny69 on May 28, 10 at 5:34pm

    brilliant.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 20, 09 at 5:55pm

    Hahahahahaha! So funny

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 12:55pm

    is this real?? if so that's hilarious

  • Submitted by rodrigo on Mar 14, 10 at 12:18pm

    Clothes hangers: they bring out the baby in you!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 31, 09 at 6:18am

    OMG YES. This App is going to make me lose my job.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 6:18pm

    hahahahahaaaha, i don't even if it is fake. its still funny.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 15, 09 at 7:06pm

    11:40 get a life. Don't be so close-minded.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 8, 09 at 10:21pm

    This is how we do it in Colorado

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 4, 09 at 2:35am

    i think this just made my life

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 24, 09 at 1:52am

    Damn it bebe, I didn't know u had it in u!!!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 7, 09 at 11:34am

    Dude, I love you. Can I marry you right now? Run away with me to Vegas lol

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 25, 09 at 7:56pm

    This doesn't even need the reply. The straight line is better than any response could ever be.

  • Submitted by skinny0069 on Apr 3, 10 at 11:40pm

    Why aren't u down here talkig to me u don't love anymore

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:52pm

    ooooohhhhh man. If this is fake, I don't care. TOOOO GOOD!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:45pm

    hahahaahah that is hilarious

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 1, 09 at 1:59pm

    Best text I've ever read

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 15, 09 at 3:35pm

    11:40, you should be ashamed of the massive stick in your ass preventing you from relaxing and taking a joke.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 8:22pm

    this is awful! i don't understand how people can think this is so funny. clearly you have no respect for human life. i am not a close-minded person, but there are certain things that are just wrong to joke about.

  • Submitted by wherearewe on Apr 11, 11 at 2:02am

    Oh my god, I just laughed my ass off, hahaha.

  • Submitted by effyew on Jun 28, 10 at 6:41pm

    at least she can kill two birds with one stone!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 21, 09 at 10:11pm

    Baahahahahaha I just peed a liitle

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 1:26am

    Oh man--I just put my 91 year old mother to bed a few minutes ago--now I'm going to have to tell her tomorrow what cracked me up...I'm betting she'll love it. I don't care if it's an old joke--I never heard it before and no one should miss it. Thank you to the person who posted it!!

  • Submitted by guitarplay3r on Dec 2, 11 at 3:46am

    hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

  • Submitted by hp7438 on Jun 6, 10 at 10:25pm

    HahahahahahahahahahahahahagHHAaaaaa. Best text

  • 69 82
    Submitted by calisurfgrl on Sep 25, 12 at 9:51pm

    CLASSIC

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 14, 09 at 6:09pm

    this... is so fucking epic. fake or not, i nearly pissed myself.