hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize