Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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