bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize