Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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