I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize