I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize