I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize