I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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