cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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