i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
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aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize