he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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