It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
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maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
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my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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