sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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