I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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